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09/26/2003: "A look at the past"

Hmm, I was talking with gonzojtl today about something that had been troubling me for some time. Looking back at the situation maybe I was being too judgemental. In my mind's eye, I could only remember certain key points of clarity which now seem to have evaporated. Perhaps, as time passed the only things that have remained with me are the bad feelings I had.

Part of me wants to go back and retrieve the truth. Relive the moment. Point to it and definitively say that I was right or wrong. Without that confirmation, I'm left with two thoughts: either black-and-white has changed or I'm just calmer today and the warping effects of the here-and-now have gone away. Looking back in time and considering the context in which the events unfurled, I admit I was (and still am) being unfair.

I should just let it go and chalk it up as a mistake. It's time to use the dusty old eraser and wipe the slate clean.