Question Thinking
I just finished reading a new book that my boss lent me. It's titled: "change your questions change your life" by Marilee G. Adams.
I found it helped me understand a number of things about myself and my own attitudes and even shed light on some things I had been doing intuitively. It explained some advice my uncle gave me last year.
A year ago this time, I was in Taiwan, Taipei. I was gathering with my mother, my uncle and my grandmother for dinner. My grandmother had made a great meal, but I was sick with food poisoning and in a foul mood. There were some jokes made at my expense and in a moment of weakness I quipped back something sarcastic.
I immediately apologized and smoothed things over. But that night, I tried to understand why I couldn't hold the comment back. I spoke with my uncle and he gave me a few bits of advice that I didn't understand at the time.
He told me that getting upset from time to time or even annoyed is natural. You need to accept it, and embrace it-- holding it in or back makes no sense. But what he said next caught me by surprise. He said that this approach really only gets you so far. Ultimately, the next level of self-thought is to simply not get upset at all. While it took many years to learn, he explained that the trick is to simply consider the positive aspects of whatever situational context you're in and move forward from that.
At the time I felt that what he said was impossible. After reading this book, I think I have a small understanding of what he meant.
The book describes an extremely useful and practical active-thought framework to identify, choose and actively question your emotions and create positive outcomes. I found that I had used some of these items intuitively, but that the approach described in the book was stellar. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to get great results from life.
The book's key theme? "Great results come from great questions."
The meter is always running
I'm turning 30 in a few months.
I think about it in a few ways:
1) What have I done in the last 29 years that I want to keep doing? 2) What have I done in the last 29 years that I want to stop doing? 3) What haven't I done that I should learn about and try to do?
I think there's a lot to be said about each of those questions. So maybe I should blog about them seperately.
It's kind've scary to consider the number of years spent already and infer the number of years remaining. Perhaps that's a good starting point-- in the big picture, I'm mortal. That's a good context to consider the three points above. I should remember that time is short, and that the meter is always running.
posted by stevelin @ 01:39 PM PST [link] [1 Comment]
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Grandparents
It's interesting how the pace of time quickens with age.
The days and weeks fly by now. Each new obstacle and goal post whipping past me in a frenzy. Win, win, lose ... etc. Success and milestones in my life are now marked not by years/birthdays but life events. Marriage, first home purchase, children (?)
And yet, when I move from the hustle-and-bustle of my daily routine -- when I go back to my origins I wonder if I'm living my life too quickly.
This winter, I took two weeks off to return back to my birthplace: Taipei, Taiwan. I haven't been back in a decade and my time away has brought about subtle changes in the scenery, but dramatic changes in my grandparents.
Sitting with my grandparents in their respective homes, I couldn't help feeling a bit exasperated (angered?) by the passage time. It's hard to see the effects of age on people you love. Harder still is the mental shock; the juxtaposition of the images and memories that once shone so brightly in your mind's eye and the here-and-now green-gilded reality.
Am I making the right choices; the right balance? Am I growing with purpose or just growing forgetful?
posted by stevelin @ 01:02 AM PST [link] [No Comments]
Taipei
Winter in Taipei Sputter, cough, honk-honk, raining On dirty concrete
posted by stevelin @ 12:41 AM PST [link] [No Comments]
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Congrats Ray & Szu-Ching: You're Married!
Another supremely awesome wedding.
Congrats to the newly weds!
posted by stevelin @ 07:29 PM PST [link] [No Comments]
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
haiku
oktober harkens, bacon eater jeff's birth date, soju for us all